Just one look and a simple gesture — an outstretched towards the hand much louder than words.
Just one look...
Glitter in their eyes, their mobility, size of the pupils, the position and shape of eyelids, direction of view — all that we denoted by the term "expression" is important for the Supervisory person. For example, if the interviewee in response to your question begins to look up, "the ceiling", it is necessary to be alert: he's probably just to indulge in fantasy, and maybe just lie. But look down and away more credible. This is a sign that the person is trying to remember something or that the topic of conversation has caused deep feelings.
No need to be a psychologist to notice that people narrow my eyes when unhappy, annoyed or wary of anything. This view is often inherent personalities cunning "canny". It is no coincidence that this view of us as a rule, not very pleasant. The same sense of cause and people who refuse to look us in the eye.
By the way, psychologists advise in conversation in any case internally not to argue, because all your opposition still expressed in his eyes. Or argue out loud, or don't do it at all, because the unconscious negative impression of your dissenting opinion will be much stronger. And the consequences can be serious.
Views enable you to organize our speech, because it is through the eyes, we first let the person know that you have finished talking and pass the word to him. A talking man is usually less looking for a partner than listening to that gives him the opportunity to focus on the content of their statements, not to be distracted. But about a second before the end of a long phrase or several related phrases logically speaking drew his attention directly to the face of the listener, as if giving a signal: I'm done, now it's your turn. Partner, taking the word in turn gives the eyes. The language of the opinion helps maintain me a contact. Probably, you had to notice: you have asked the other person a question that requires deliberation, and he ceased to look directly at you. He looks "through" you or "withdraws into himself", or looks up, as if trying to find the answer on the ceiling, or looking to the side, as if expecting that the ear will catch the right answer... it is Clear that "withdrawal" is a reference to his memory, internal experience, the ability to imagine or conceive.
It is also important not only as interlocutors look at each other, but how long and how often. Studies show that during negotiations, people staring at each other from 30 to 60% of the time. If the person meets your gaze less than 30% of the time, he likely does not perceive your words. When the time is more than 60%, be sure you listen carefully.
The lack of glance can also be a signal. Can stressed to look away, showing that ignoring the partner, do not want to deal with it. In General, observations in a variety of situations has shown that positive emotions are accompanied by the increase of the number of views and negative feelings are considered a refusal to look at him.
Studies have also shown that direct gaze is used in communication, mostly women. They often look at him than men, and no longer avert their eyes. Perhaps this is an innate difference. In any case, already from 6 months of age girls "pasaste" boys. Because of that, and has been for many centuries the famous grandma's formula of "fire eyes" — "in the corner, on the nose," the girl smiles slightly, then lowers his eyelids and looks away. There is no better way to attract attention. It is not surprising that in some countries female look is hide behind the veil — eye contact works like lightning!
Perhaps you yourself have noticed that to ignore someone who is staring at you, impossible, you are forced to react somehow. You can smile and speak, you can turn away and head for the exit. But before that, you are likely to or pull his ear, or correct a suit, or wipe glasses. Anyway, while you decide how to treat the invitation will surely produce some obviously meaningless action.
The first information source is obtained through the eyes and from the eyes. No wonder there is a proverb: "the Eyes are the mirror of the soul". After all, they tell us about the person most important. Completely not realizing that I read the language of the views, you can recognize the mental state of a person: fear and sadness, happiness, love, hate. Perhaps that is why we so hard to have serious conversations on the phone when, not seeing the eyes, we start to underestimate or overestimate the intonations, imagining is not what's really going on. But the eyes and the human behavior you will see clearly the expression of feelings without words.
Different peoples have a very different use of gaze in communication. The Swedes, for example, in the course of the conversation look at each other more than, say, the British. The Navajo children are taught not to look at him. South American Indian tribes witoto and borore the speaker and the listener look in different directions, as if the narrator appeals to a large audience, he is obliged to turn to the audience back and look into the hut. The Japanese at the conversation direct the gaze on the neck of the interlocutor, so that the eyes and face of a partner located in the peripheral field of view. Direct look in the face, in their minds, it's impolite. The majority of the peoples of the world there is an unwritten law, kind of taboo prohibiting point-blank to consider another person, especially strangers. It is considered an impertinence and an insult. Other peoples, such as Arabs, it is considered necessary to look at the one with whom you talk. Children are taught that it is impolite to talk with the man and look him in the face.
Research conducted in the USA showed that the use of gaze in communication, being once learned in childhood, throughout life do not change, even if the person falls into a different national environment. In Mediterranean countries, the widespread belief in the evil power of the "evil eye". According to this belief, existing as revealed by scientists, from the XVII century to our time, the man with the "evil eye" brings misfortune to everyone who will look.
ABC OF VIEWS
The long gaze: women usually look at those who sympathize with, and men — those who love themselves.
Direct gaze shows interest and respect for the other person. The person who looks at others direct, he's confident.
Look with a squint means either kontsentrirovanija attention (observation), or (in combination with a side view) mistrust, cunning, and even deceit. The man who looks at him with narrowed eyes, wants to find out his plans, but to hide their.
Covered "covered" the eyes are often a sign of inertia, indifference, arrogance, boredom, or fatigue.
Wandering eye expresses any interest in all at once, or the lack of it.
Eyes wide open is characterized by high susceptibility of the senses and of reason, the General liveliness. They have confidence in. Looking at the actors and successful traders.
A sideways glance can be interpreted in different ways: either the person is not confident or secretly watching someone.
Look from the side, the corners of the eyes, indicates the absence of a full commitment, skepticism, disbelief.
Eye-to-eye. Looking at the lovers. This view is a significant challenge for the person to whom it is addressed.
Look askance denotes disagreement, scorn or distrust.
Look from top to bottom (if tilted head) discovers a sense of superiority, arrogance, contempt, the search for domination.
Evading the look gives the uncertainty, modesty or timidity, perhaps, guilt.
A direct gaze with the face fully facing the person shows interest, trust, openness, willingness to direct interaction.