Any person wishing to achieve success in life or business, just need to master one powerful psychological technique through which you can win the boundless confidence of the interlocutor. In life this form of behavior is often masked behind the words "honesty", "openness", "enthusiasm", "charm", etc. But in psychology this technique is treated as personal congruence and means the condition where a person is in complete harmony with themselves, with their ideas, worldview, underlying values.
In other words, You say what you feel, Express your thoughts, not because this position is comfortable to you, but because you really think so. All Your words and actions are real, coming from the soul.
To more clearly understand what congruence is easier to provide examples of incongruent behavior. For example, communicating with You, the source abstract looking to the side and supports talking stock phrases, nervously picking at in the hands of any subject, and in General, it seems that he has no business talking, and his whole being is occupied with quite other cares. When he talks, his intonation contains notes of anxiety, excitement, and the voice tense.
Note that people can easily feel the slightest insincerity and quickly show signs of incongruent behavior. These non-verbal signals, and the fact that 80% of information is transmitted non-verbal way - have long proven fact.
Congruence: methods to achieve
The most effective way to achieve congruence is the presentation of an incongruent behavior by personal example. In short, You need to remember and relive those moments when you were not in agreement with itself. You should recall all those feelings and thoughts that accompanied this behavior, recall surrounding people and environment to feel the discomfort that You felt. All this is necessary to ensure that in the future you can easily identify the congruence.
Once You have managed on their own examples to experience congruence, it is worth remembering the situation in which You were most congruent, and similar to the previous exercise clearly remember accompanying this tide of feeling. People who could vividly feel congruence, described this condition as an opening of intuition, a sense of harmony with oneself and with everything going on around you, trust and openness to the surrounding world.
Finally, You need to compare these two diametrically opposed States. A comparison would more clearly see the difference between them. It should fix the effect of committing several transitions from one feeling to another.
Congruence as one of alternatives of behavior
It should be noted that congruence is a very subtle psychological tool, and it's particularly important to learn how to capture the moment when it should be used. Completely showing congruence, You will not be able to make an objective choice, to look at reality in new ways, and make a major discovery. This is because the absolute congruence is a state of complete comfort, harmony, hard to resist. And often it is out of the usual equilibrium leads to finding of alternatives, forces urgently seek new solutions and to find interesting ideas. The variability of the surrounding world makes you temporarily leave the state of inner harmony, otherwise man is doomed to stagnation and total dependence on circumstances.
Therefore, to achieve true satisfaction from life you have to learn to find a balance between congruence and non-congruence in the dynamics - this experience will help to easily adapt to any changing circumstances without feeling any internal discomfort.